What’s up homey?
Sometimes, I have a hard time telling whether I am expecting too much out of people. This gent was attempting to purchase one of our homes, and this voicemail is the beginning of his application process. Maybe it’s just the way I was raised, but if you want me to help you to finance the purchase of a home, “What’s up homey?” may be a wee bit informal if we haven’t met... [Read more about this property...]
Surreal Estate Stories: The Bomb Shelter House
In June of 2009, I had my first meeting ever held on a front stoop… during a garage sale. Although firmly located in Des Moines, it had the feel of the Appalachians.Their youngest son of eight was running around shirtless; with his off-hand he bunched up the excess waistline of his size 32 cutoffs like a rodeo cowboy grasping the horn of his saddle. Dad was sporting a smart new facial tattoo... [Read more about this property...]
Fannie Mae kill you….
I have been in some doozies over the years looking at REO’s and foreclosures. Seeing dead animals, secret rooms, stashes of literature that would make Larry Flynt blush are not uncommon occurrences. But today I had an addendum sent over by Freddie Mac on one of their Homesteps REO’s that was a REQUIREMENT to be signed before entry. So, lets take deadly, black mold out of the equation…how... [Read more about this property...]
The Walnut Tree Pro-Forma
I had an email come across my desk the other day about a guy wanting to sell his house. This was his unique selling proposition for the house: “Huge Walnut Tree on lot, so could be an income for someone” My asked my friend Barry what he thought and he told me the guy was nuts. What I told the guy was this, “Listen, I am going to need to see a current Year to Date Profit and Loss... [Read more about this property...]
What I learned at Real Estate Bootcamp (A Go Animate Video)
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Winterization Fail Part Duex
Here is a bit of advice for all you DIY’ers out there…Hefty bags and staple guns for winterizing your windows works about as well as a homemade condom. Hefty Bags and Staples Winterization Fail
Home Winterization Fail
Pop quiz hotshot…you just spent 15 minutes longer than any man should holding a hair dryer and working with Saran wrap…now your High Life is stuck behind a thin layer of plastic…What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!? Guy winterizes window and traps beer
Hardi Plank Siding Fail
Not rightly sure what a Hardy Plane even is?
When Right Wing Politics Conspire to Kill your Real Estate Closing
Some of you may remember a previous post that I had entitled “All I want for closing is my two front teeth”. In it I had talked about how we had to find a gentleman a pair of replacement teeth to facilitate the closing. Well, I should have put a teaser in that post like the ones in Back the the Future movies to let you know there would be a sequel. While my sequel will not include any... [Read more about this property...]
When Home Improvements go wrong
This has been one of my favorites since a friend of mine sent it to me a couple years back. It is a series of pictures compiled by This Old House from a number of home inspectors showing some of the best of the worst home improvements. Enjoy swfobject.embedSWF("http://www.youtube.com/v/EgN9qMl7ptE&rel=0&fs=1&showsearch=0&showinfo=0", "vvq-273-youtube-1", "425", "344", "10", vvqexpressinstall,... [Read more about this property...]
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About Me
In the year 2000, I decided to drop out of my graduate classes and pursue a 10 year adventure in capitalism. Not having any money or business acumen at the time, I had to find a business that would accommodate those shortcomings... I chose Real Estate. These are the sometimes surreal stories of the the last 10 years in Real Estate. 
